Nurse coaching: what your spouse needs to know

Therapy and counseling are wonderful, and coaching is different, even though it can look the same from the outside. A therapist assesses what's wrong, and the goal is usually to get someone functioning.

A coach is trained to see you as whole and resourced, with real strengths. We take a snapshot of your life today, then work with you for about three to six months toward the future you want. I think of it as remodeling a house. You walk through every room, tell me what you love and what you don't, and we change the parts you want changed.

You can, and if it gets you the outcome you want, do it. Information is cheap and easy to find. Most of us nurses already know what to tell someone who wants to lower their A1C.

What people pay a coach for is changing their behavior. That takes a relationship, and someone who sees you and keeps you accountable. Coaching isn't something people need. It's something they decide they want.

Bring the vision, not just the price. Say what you want, why it matters to you and that you believe it will work. That lands very differently from, "Do you think maybe I could do this coaching thing? It's only $1,200."

If you sound unsure, your partner will feel it. Evan told me that when I asked without confidence, he'd say no. So go in asking, "How could we make this work?" Nobody has a coaching budget, so it's a decision you make together.

As a coach, I never pressure a client to decide without her partner. If she says she needs to talk to her husband, I ask if I can coach her on how to have that conversation.

It's common. Evan felt the distance too, before he started his own work. His answer here was that partners want to know your words and your actions back the dream up.

Staying curious about how you can support it, and asking, is already doing that. When your partner acknowledges you for it, that closes the loop and gives you a reason to keep pouring in.

You may have to wait for her to come to you. I can't coach Evan, since we live together. It would confuse the relationship unless he asks.

Selling coaching is advocacy. If you believe the work will change someone's life, you're advocating for them, and nurses do that for their patients all day.

One real help: listen to the last fifteen minutes of her proposal calls, with the client's details left out, and pick out three things she could have done differently. By her hundredth proposal, you'll be a superpower. In the Residency we teach sales slowly, in two parts, because no nurse signed up to be a salesperson.

No. You can offer Zoom only. If you do meet in person, a public library room, a park bench or a picnic table all work, and a coffee shop or trail is easier once you know the client. You can also rent an office by the day or the week. What matters is that nobody can overhear.

I'd offer to go to an acquaintance's home instead of hosting people in mine, and share your location with your partner. Evan meets half of his clients in person, and he treats it as a coaching space, not a casual coffee. He says there's a sacredness to it.

I really recommend private practice first. After certification you have your 60 hours, and that usually isn't enough. You need about 40 to 60 more, so I'd open an LLC and get paid for them.

Some organization jobs call it coaching but run on a time clock with a script, and a few people weren't happy in them. Other organizations hire nurse coaches to support staff and report very high satisfaction and better retention. If you can propose and sell coaching to a few individuals, you'll sell yourself to an organization much better. I'd wait until you have around 120 hours.

You'll start coaching everyone, everywhere, all the time. I have two versions of me, coach Laura and introvert Laura. Coaching changes the way you relate everywhere.

With family, it's about permission. Evan is a fixer, so he asks me, "Are you looking for solutions, or would you like me to listen?" Sometimes I do want a solution, and then we fix it.